Shine A Little Light

I've just been reading my post from approximately the same time last year. This year it's a slightly sadder and more difficult affair to see the dawn of a new year (which has been tradition for most of this millenium, which I was able to reintergrate back into my life last year!) There is no Rage this year and certainly no Chaser programming it. Instead there was Moulin Rouge - which would have been great had I not watched it as my birthday movie two weeks ago and Can't Stop the Music (The Village People movie). Now having moved into the third hour of the new year there is only the those terrible adds that run for half an hour to sell you miracle skin care, cosmetics, kitchen appliances etc. So it's just me, the glass of frangelico with the rapidly melting ice, the clatter of the fan and the quiet chorus of cicadas floating through my window.

On the way to Annie and Adrian's tonight, Dave and I were discussing how New Years changes as you get older. I guess what we were angling at was that the meaning put on New Years changes as we get older. Personally I was never a great fan of New Years Eve. It always just seemed to be full of pissed wankers making my life difficult or just a really dismal evening. Too much expectation and not enough in return. Dave had different ideas based on his own experiences.

Reflecting back I remembered the New Years Eve (when I was 20 I'm reckoning) where I decided it would be a great idea to ask the guy from the bank out for New Years drinks. As it turned out he was deathly boring and I spent all night stuck next to him trying to strike up a conversation, trying to get someone else to strike up a conversation with him and/or wishing that I was , dancing like a wild chick and not giving a damn about babysitting someone with the personality of a rock! Sadly after this encounter I had to go to a different branch to avoid him.

Then there was the New Years Eve the year before that when I was released from hospital after having micro surgery on my eye, having had my best friend bunk off with one boyfriend and the one that came after that bunking off with his best mates sister - so I was all alone, with an eye that had been carved up, unable to drink alcohol, nursing a broken heart and post surgery woes. From memory, through my one good eye I watched one of the Alien movies and something with Sean Connery in it (Medicine Man?)

We wont mention my first new years eve legally allowed to drink(it's like the war in Fawlty Towers but you dont get away with it just the once!) ... if my Mum or my sister are reading this - they'll remember it and I'm sure put their 2 cents worth in through the comment box. Let's just say it had lots to do with Mississipi Moonshine and Brian's Adams, and not a lot to do with anything else.

Fast forward a few more years, to 1999 and I made the new years resolution that I would not be with my partner of the time the following new years eve (and I wasn't - just so you know that I do keep my resolutions when I make them - just like giving up beer and MacDonalds at various other times through out my checkered life) We were in Port Fairy which had pretty strict public alcohol rules. Through the drunken reverie I heard my name called out, turned to see a copper. I immediately hid the bourbon and coke behind my back, thinking I was about to be done for having alcohol in the mainstreet. On closer inspection the copper turned out to be an old friend I hadn't seen in years. The strangest places you meet people!

It wasn't until I met my soul sister Karen that New Years looked up. We spent the first NYE of our friend at a Rave that basically consisted of the two of us, the DJs and some security hosted at the Table Tennis Association! It poured rain and in between the dancing I was on the phone to America to a guy I'd been chatting to on the internet. At dawn we went down to the esplanade to see the sun come up - which was a little pointless. It was so heavily overcast we had to guess when the sun was up. It was the first of three years in a row when I fell asleep in the bath, with the shower running overhead at Karen's place.

The following year it was Karen, Lisa and I - and my Audrey Hepburn retro Rave dress. I'd returned out of the blue two weeks earlier from NSW and the three of us were set to party! We danced for five hours (in my high heel boots - it took days for my feet to recover) fueled by bottles of V, nectarines from Rusty's market and chocolate. Just before dawn he headed down to the Esplanade to see the sun come up - blessed by clearish skies and I watched my (then) pilot boyfriend fly out over the inlet for PNG. We had lots of photos taken in our sunnies and rave clothes and then it was back to Karen's to fall asleep in the shower.

The last NYE Karen and I had together it was with our men in tow - Lisa had gone overseas to England. We caught the fire works and then headed into Orchid Valley to a rainforest rave. There was a moment where a guy was sitting in the middle of the rainforest stream, legs crossed mediatating - looking as though he was levitating on the water. Karen came up with the brilliant idea that we should go to Bramston Beach to watch the sun come up (the kookaburras have just started up here - it's currently 3:47am) So into the car we piled - none of having drunk anything other than some V and water .. and off for a 45 minute drive. It was amazing watching the sun come up over the water - the beach all to ourselves. The photos taken that morning are some of my most treasured photos. I wont bother to put in the bit about bumping wallabies on the way into Bramston Beach.

Since then NYE hasn't been the same. It never seems like a party without Karen.

At Annie's tonight we sat around the table contemplating what 2009 held for us and what we wanted to snatch from it - the books we wanted to read, the things we wanted to learn, the things we wanted to give back .... but more of that tomorrow.

As always I feel like I'm now in limbo land between the 'Western' new year and the 'Eastern' new year. For the next 25 days until the Chinese New Year begins I'm going to do some cleaning up and laying down of some groundwork for (at least) one writing project that's been long over due. Time to contemplate the year of authenticity that is passing and the year of action that is coming into the fore. But there will be some biting of the bullet occuring when I wake up and as far as my body and my mind are concerned the new year begins. But until then -

To pass the time until the sun comes up and I can take my celebratory swin ... I think I'll go and lay out my tarot cards and see what awaits me in 2009?

PS: I'm bringing the Audrey Hepburn retro rave dress out of moth balls for NYE 2009/10 and you can hold me to that one!

Original Image (c) Karen van Harskamp 2002, additional graphics Jodi Cleghorn 2008

"I am profoundly imbued with a sense of awakening because of your veil lifting. I was lost, but now I am found..." From Lost in Space

It's the end of an era.

Pluto moved into Capricorn today. Then end of a 12 year period. For me it's meant a very intense period where Pluto transitted my sun. I'm really glad for a new start. And with this new start I have decided to divide my blog - my fiction writing and non fiction articles will remain at Jodi Cleghorn ... and my personal musings are finding a new home here.

I will be back in a week after a trip to New South Wales to celebrate some belated birthdays and catch up with family we haven't seen for a long time. I'm sure there will be much to share when I get back.